Thinking about Gremlins…if you find yourself obsessing about the past or the future, just notice, it’s not real, it’s just a gremlin…

We know that women NEED to connect with each other. In fact, a “remedy” for unhappiness or not being satisfied with our lives, that I always recommend to others is girlfriend time!

It’s partially why women’s retreats are so successful. There is nothing like basking in the love of other women. We RELATE to each other’s lives. We get to share feelings. We GET to share the details.

It has become very obvious to me that facebook is one of those outlets, and inlets for us.

Girlfriends

For me personally, I got support, in the last month alone, when I wrote about wanting to eat chocolate, when my boyfriend wanted us to get a house together but not put my name on it, when I started worrying about my toes getting crooked, and problems I was having with my crazy beautiful adorable cat. We also discussed topics like Obama, life purpose issues, abuse issues, and some really fun things like babies roller skating, cops calling 911 thinking they are dying from getting too stoned, to other funny jokes, especially about the woo woo factor in Sedona, to meeting up with old school friends, and making great new friends. Wow, all this inside the space of a month, as a result of internet technology.

So, while we SAY we are not connecting as much we people, because we are all home on our computers, I must now disagree. We are becoming closer than ever, and I for one am very grateful now for facebook.

I did write a blog months ago, where I complained about becoming obsessed with facebook and it taking up all our time. I’m a woman, dah, I’m allowed to change my mind, right?

Oh, how I wish I audio-taped the last hour and half! No one would believe this phone call. I am exhausted. I went from polite to semi-patient, to angry, to tears, to pure utter exhaustion. They are wearing me down!

This is GMAC, MY Loan company, the one I”m a GOOD CUSTOMER with! What happened to treating your customer well?

Here’s my little story…

April 13, 2009 - file for the Obama modification papers.  I am a perfect candidate. My package is perfect!

April 29th – I call, I’m not in the system yet.

May 4th, I call, in system, received papers, they will call within a few days to confirm because they said it’s not complete. They do not know why.

May 18th, they said my P & L not clear, send fax to Craig at the number he gave, it never goes through. So I mailed it on 5-19.

May 26 – They have paperwork and will review and get back to me. OK! This should be done soon. Hah.

June 1, oh, now they don’t have the P & L, ok, I resend.

June 11, was told package was complete on June 9th, and I will receive a call 15-30 days with answer, they are working on it.

June 30th, Oh no, they NEVER make a decision that fast, it is always at least 30 days, will have definite answer by July 10th.

July 13th, gee, no answer, I think I’ll call. They said, oh no, it’s not 30 days, now it’s 60 days, no one should have told me 30 days. I start asking for a supervisor. There isn’t one, one will call me. The notes say one did. Left a message. I don’t remember a call…

OK, I’m taking a break, let’s see if I get the affirmation letter in the mail as promised.

August 26th, my Dad’s birthday, maybe I’ll have good luck today. OK, the guy who answered said he can see who the analyst is, a Brian, and will email him, with my email address, and will ask him to respond within 48 hours. Maybe this reminder will put a light under him. This analyst is protected, he has more protection than Obama!

September 28th, the day I wish I taped. My hands are over my face. Hold it, I have to pee, I’ve been waiting since like agent number 3. 8 people today!!! Account number, name, last 4 of SS, house address, phone, do you reside in house, have you moved or changed your address in 30 days. I BEG, just put me through to…One actually made believe they were one department, another said they were putting through to a supervisor and instead put me back in the regular line up in another department. I’m told loss mitigation handles these. Each time that’s what they said. Now I’m told collections, but from what they said, I can tell they don’t. The supervisor there said to resubmit the application to him, and then he’ll talk to loss mitigation about it. Huh? Why, that makes no sense. He said it might get them to take action. I thought these phone calls I make were to get them to take action.

Another guy in another department, read his note and agreed, I should resubmit the application, maybe that would work.  They said my application is too old anyway, I should update the information! Are you serious? OK, towards the end I asked these questions, which no one would answer. 1. Can’t I talk to the person who makes the decisions? (I thought that was a reasonable request.) 2. Why should I resubmit when the file is complete? (to get them to take action) 3. But I’ve been calling, isn’t that suppose to get you to take action? 4. The second person I asked, the first refused to answer, does ANYONE ever get approved for this program? (I was told yes) 5. I thought I knew that loss mitigation makes the decision, but now I’m not sure. Does anyone know the answer?

So, the last guy I spoke with today, who would NOT put me through to a supervisor or back to loss mitigation, because he wanted to see if he could help. Do I have to go to the press? He said you could try your congressman. Hum, more So, we went, once again, through the whole history. He suggested again that I send in my whole packet. So, my question, is ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU DO NOT HAVE THE FILE? IS IT LOST? He was not telling me that, but I think he wanted to check that. Then he asked that dreaded question, can I put you on hold for a min? 15 min later, I realize he’s never coming back and maybe he lost me and please, he’ll call me back because he has to! Well, one hour later, 4 chocolates, nuts and a full meal later, he hasn’t called back. No one will ever call back from there.

I never participated in a governmental program. No food stamps, no unemployment, no health care. But when the program came out in March, I knew it would really help me get through a rough time. Very disappointing GMAC.

Lori

So, this is a bit personal, but I think I can work through it best by putting it out there. After all, I AM a relationship coach, a LOVE-ADVICE Coach, so that must mean I teach what I have to learn!

I am living with my boyfriend, Kevin. I hate saying boyfriend! I want to say Husband. This is a serious stressor for me. He says, why can’t you just be happy with the GREAT relationship we have? Good question, why can’t I? We LOVE being together. We miss each other when apart, we have fun, love each other’s company, our life is perfect except for I keep pushing this marriage thing.

I am madly in love with him, in fact, after about 3 years together, on and off, I still ADORE him.

Even my own mother says “what do you need to be married for? You are not having children with him…”  Here is my dilema, he is ready to purchase a new house for us, it is an investment, and a beautiful house that I love. Yet, it is his purchase, in his name, I live there. So I feel, how do I put my heart and soul into a house that is not mine? He says, I’m buying it for US. And it’s true, he would not buy it for himself. I sound like an ungrateful you know what. I’m in a quandry, I want the house for us, for our future, yet, if it’s not ours, what is it really? Do I happily go and play house, or just stay where I am? My pride is definitely in the way. EGO…oh yea, edging G-d out! Am I edging spirit out? Am I spiting myself? How many women would LOVE to be in the place where their boyfriend is buying a beautiful house, where they could live, rent free? On one hand, isn’t that incredibly generous? On the other, what does it say about our future that it is in his name alone? Am I reading too much into it?

Oh, I’m afraid putting this out in the world…what will I get back?

At the retreat this week, I made a rock that said “River” on one side and “self Love” on the other. I just took a picture of it. The purpose was to remind myself to stop pushing the river, and that the most important thing is to just keep loving myself.

Yet, I’m back to the question, needing marriage, wanting marriage, desiring marriage. I can ‘make believe’ it’s not important, but it is. So, as is my way, I want to work through this and not stuff it.

I get it is about security. Does that mean I’m not trusting the universe? Don’t I believe we are exactly where we are suppose to be? I think I’m at the precipice of a big learning curve. Ugh, I hate that. Tony Robbins says when you’re feeling confused, you are going to learn something, so get ready. At his seminars, someone would stand up and say, “I’m Confused!” and the entire audience would clap, because that meant that they were about to learn something. Please clap for me…I’m ready to change this.

OK, take a deep breath Lori, know that the net is there, the universe provides all I need, so what is being given is what I must need, right? Stop pushing the river…love myself, put one step in front of the other and BE the observer. What is there that I’m suppose to learn about myself?

Thank you for listening…

Oh, here’s my rock, ok, I’m not an artist, but it was fun to create!

Don't push the river rock

Going live now on http://tinyurl.com/strlori

Bandon women’s retreat is full, but I still have room for the Jerome, Arizona retreat on 9/11

At the BEST bookstore in the world. While Away Books in Roseburg, Oregon! For the GREATEST coffee!

Just updated my blog! http://ping.fm/HzyUe
social networking is happening!

I learned something new! Ping.fm allows you to type one post in to ALL your networks at once. Wow!

I felt overwhelmed at the idea of social networking. I want to thank Sabrina Gibson for her great webinar on social networking. I learned something I was able to use right away, now i get to give it to all of you to learn. Very cool.

For those of you who don’t know, I wanted to tell you that I have a fan page! That’s right, a page for people who are excited about the work I’m doing in the abuse realm. You might not have known this about me, but I have worked with abused women since 1979 (I know, I’m not that old!)

And…I finished a book that is going to rock the domestic abuse world when it comes out! It is currently being edited and I’m expecting to start introducing it to publishers sometime in August.

Anyone know someone at Hay House or Bear and Company?

It will be multi media. I will have the support page on facebook, a CD/MP3 for people to listen to a fabulous meditation…The Pathway Back to You, and of course, the Book: Freedom from Abuse: Finding Yourself Again.

So, click here and support the cause, let’s talk about what is probably the civilized world’s greatest secret, and make sure it’s a secret no longer!

blessings,

Lori

I love this idea of being in the afternoon of my life. I just finished watching Wayne Dyer’s video, The Shift, where he spoke about the idea of having a quantum shift in your life, where suddenly, or over a period of time, it’s different for everyone, you change. You change internally, your values change, what is most important to you changes.

I see, without a doubt, that my experiences in Costa Rica were like that for me. For those of you who don’t know, I went there with a man, it was a bad relationship and we had to break up after less than 2 weeks. I was financially depending on him and was suddenly left with no money, in a foreign country, without friends or family.

Thank God for this experience! I learned to really really love myself. I learned to like my own company. In fact, I still prefer my own company. I am now at peace. Really. I went from worrying about things, trying to control/manipulate things to be the way I wanted them, seeking happiness from stuff and experiences, to being able to sit still and feel peace within. wow. What other’s think about me doesn’t concern me as much. I wouldn’t say not at all, just I’m not driven by it. I’m more comfortable with my weight, OK, 10-20 pounds less would be nice, but it’s not mandatory for me to be happy.

Almost 50 and finally learning to like who I am.

Yes, life is good! Retreat is next month, there will be more growth, more peace, more opening of my heart!

love and blessings,

Lori