Oh my gosh, I had the most amazing weekend. I am so honored and thrilled to have been initiated to be able to give Deeksha, the Oneness Blessing.

You know how it is when you are so drawn to something and you don’t know why and you don’t even know what it is? That’s the way it was for me. Now I know, I know deep down inside what I’ve been waiting for. Back in 1998, I was in Israel, at the Western (Wailing) Wall and I was in the total state of oneness with G-d. There was no separation. God’s essence emerged with me totally and completely. I felt irradiated. I don’t tell many people about this experience, because honestly, I am not a poet and do not have the correct language to give this experience proper meaning.

As I was getting initiated, I felt the exact same feeling. Again, I can’t describe it but thankfully Candace, a beautiful dedicated oneness leader, and organizer of the Sedona group, as I sobbed, said, “Lori, You’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”  To have someone know your experience and support it and not change it or judge it is a truly beautiful, peaceful feeling.

I want to publically thank Hillary Bee, our lovely Trainer. Oh my gosh, you should see the light shine from her eyes! Her lightness of being is just intoxicating! You can’t help to want more of whatever it is she has.

We are stepping into some difficult times. We all know that. Yet, we are also stepping into a choice-point, where we need to get as many people as possible on earth to shift their consciousness to a higher state of being, of oneness. So, it turns out that this 21 day class/initiation, which you could only get in India, and then the last few years in 10 days in India or Fiji at Tony Robbins resort, is now being offered in 2 days to get as many people as possible ready and sustaining the earth at a higher vibration. We do live in amazing times, don’t we?

It sort of seems like fast food spirituality, doesn’t it? Somehow, Hilary was able to maintain the sacredness of it all. If you feel drawn to this, then follow up and see where training is offered near you.

http://www.onenessuniversity.org/

blessings…

Lori

Do you want quality love advice? Follow me: www.tinyurl.com/lovetweets

I can’t imagine having an affair with my ex-husband. It’s been 14 years since we’ve been together and he’s been re-married for about 10 years. 

In the movie with Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, you know through the children that their parents have been in a seething boil of hurt, anger and resentment for about 10 years. And suddenly, Jake (the father played by Baldwin) realizes how great his ex-wife is, what he lost, what he gave up for the woman who was about 20 years younger than his ex Jane (played by Streep). 

All of this finally at the time when Jane is ready to really let go of the hurt and move on with her own life! She has a successful business, is planning a remodel of her home, her children are ready to be on their own, and she is meeting an amazing man who is crazy about her. There’s a Hebrew word for all this, dafka, which means beyond ironic! 

What is it like to be the “other woman?” She is now the mistress, trying to hide the affair. How tasty is retaliation? In a fabulous scene with her girlfriends, they question whether she has the “right” to do this, as he was hers first, what parameters does she want in this relationship, like isn’t it great to have sex with him and not have to clean up after him? What about the kids??? 

And what about the children? Do we think the children would be elated over their parents getting back together? Do we not realize the full effect divorce has on the children, what they have to go through at least weekly for years on end to categorize and fit into their family’s craziness? How do I keep Mom from knowing that Dad…. Or how to I get to go with my friends when its Dad’s weekend, to dealing with step parents, step-siblings, half-siblings, even half-time pets! My daughter had a graveyard of rats buried up at her father’s house, pets that would NEVER be in my house but were welcomed in his house. How separate my life was from their fathers, yet, they lived in both worlds. 

And we know, divorced children love those few times when their parents are able to spend time with them. For some, it never happens. I remember making sure at high school graduation to get a picture of me and their dad with them, to give to each of them. Those memories are certainly to be cherished.

So, in the complications of your divorce, of the changes in your family, what can you do to continue to be the best person you can be? Not only for your children, but for yourself?

 Lori Rubenstein, JD, CPC

www.LoveAdviceCoach.com

www.TranscendingDivorce.com

I totally get how hard this time is for you. I too have been there, been embarassed and humiliated in front of everyone I know. I get that you are dealing with this on a much larger scale, but the feelings of feeling like a fool are the same.

The news reports all say that you are done, leaving, and will get a quick settlement. That’s what I did too. There is no right or wrong, or judgment about that, you are doing what you feel you must do.

Yet, here is my hope for you. That you know and understand it is not you, it is him, his issue. That no matter how much he is loved by others, there is something missing inside of him. His ego is just not being fed enough. It’s not fed enough because he is obviously looking outside himeself for it to be fed.

I hope you don’t take it personally.

I hope you don’t take on the role of victim and wonder, “what is wrong with me?”

I hope you are able to forgive him and that you can still give your children a respectable father. They are young enough to take their ques from you. I’m not saying protect him or lie about him to them, I’m just saying give them space to develop their own relationship and to come to their own conclusions.

My heart goes out to you because I know, no matter how beautiful or smart or creative or talented you are, it hurts and being embarassed makes it just that much harder.

Wayne Dyer says, “what other people think of me is none of my business!” I wish for you to be able to take that mindset on. My hand is on your heart, sending you lots of love and as much peace as possible.

Many blessings

Lori

Thinking about Gremlins…if you find yourself obsessing about the past or the future, just notice, it’s not real, it’s just a gremlin…

We know that women NEED to connect with each other. In fact, a “remedy” for unhappiness or not being satisfied with our lives, that I always recommend to others is girlfriend time!

It’s partially why women’s retreats are so successful. There is nothing like basking in the love of other women. We RELATE to each other’s lives. We get to share feelings. We GET to share the details.

It has become very obvious to me that facebook is one of those outlets, and inlets for us.

Girlfriends

For me personally, I got support, in the last month alone, when I wrote about wanting to eat chocolate, when my boyfriend wanted us to get a house together but not put my name on it, when I started worrying about my toes getting crooked, and problems I was having with my crazy beautiful adorable cat. We also discussed topics like Obama, life purpose issues, abuse issues, and some really fun things like babies roller skating, cops calling 911 thinking they are dying from getting too stoned, to other funny jokes, especially about the woo woo factor in Sedona, to meeting up with old school friends, and making great new friends. Wow, all this inside the space of a month, as a result of internet technology.

So, while we SAY we are not connecting as much we people, because we are all home on our computers, I must now disagree. We are becoming closer than ever, and I for one am very grateful now for facebook.

I did write a blog months ago, where I complained about becoming obsessed with facebook and it taking up all our time. I’m a woman, dah, I’m allowed to change my mind, right?

Oh, how I wish I audio-taped the last hour and half! No one would believe this phone call. I am exhausted. I went from polite to semi-patient, to angry, to tears, to pure utter exhaustion. They are wearing me down!

This is GMAC, MY Loan company, the one I”m a GOOD CUSTOMER with! What happened to treating your customer well?

Here’s my little story…

April 13, 2009 - file for the Obama modification papers.  I am a perfect candidate. My package is perfect!

April 29th – I call, I’m not in the system yet.

May 4th, I call, in system, received papers, they will call within a few days to confirm because they said it’s not complete. They do not know why.

May 18th, they said my P & L not clear, send fax to Craig at the number he gave, it never goes through. So I mailed it on 5-19.

May 26 – They have paperwork and will review and get back to me. OK! This should be done soon. Hah.

June 1, oh, now they don’t have the P & L, ok, I resend.

June 11, was told package was complete on June 9th, and I will receive a call 15-30 days with answer, they are working on it.

June 30th, Oh no, they NEVER make a decision that fast, it is always at least 30 days, will have definite answer by July 10th.

July 13th, gee, no answer, I think I’ll call. They said, oh no, it’s not 30 days, now it’s 60 days, no one should have told me 30 days. I start asking for a supervisor. There isn’t one, one will call me. The notes say one did. Left a message. I don’t remember a call…

OK, I’m taking a break, let’s see if I get the affirmation letter in the mail as promised.

August 26th, my Dad’s birthday, maybe I’ll have good luck today. OK, the guy who answered said he can see who the analyst is, a Brian, and will email him, with my email address, and will ask him to respond within 48 hours. Maybe this reminder will put a light under him. This analyst is protected, he has more protection than Obama!

September 28th, the day I wish I taped. My hands are over my face. Hold it, I have to pee, I’ve been waiting since like agent number 3. 8 people today!!! Account number, name, last 4 of SS, house address, phone, do you reside in house, have you moved or changed your address in 30 days. I BEG, just put me through to…One actually made believe they were one department, another said they were putting through to a supervisor and instead put me back in the regular line up in another department. I’m told loss mitigation handles these. Each time that’s what they said. Now I’m told collections, but from what they said, I can tell they don’t. The supervisor there said to resubmit the application to him, and then he’ll talk to loss mitigation about it. Huh? Why, that makes no sense. He said it might get them to take action. I thought these phone calls I make were to get them to take action.

Another guy in another department, read his note and agreed, I should resubmit the application, maybe that would work.  They said my application is too old anyway, I should update the information! Are you serious? OK, towards the end I asked these questions, which no one would answer. 1. Can’t I talk to the person who makes the decisions? (I thought that was a reasonable request.) 2. Why should I resubmit when the file is complete? (to get them to take action) 3. But I’ve been calling, isn’t that suppose to get you to take action? 4. The second person I asked, the first refused to answer, does ANYONE ever get approved for this program? (I was told yes) 5. I thought I knew that loss mitigation makes the decision, but now I’m not sure. Does anyone know the answer?

So, the last guy I spoke with today, who would NOT put me through to a supervisor or back to loss mitigation, because he wanted to see if he could help. Do I have to go to the press? He said you could try your congressman. Hum, more So, we went, once again, through the whole history. He suggested again that I send in my whole packet. So, my question, is ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU DO NOT HAVE THE FILE? IS IT LOST? He was not telling me that, but I think he wanted to check that. Then he asked that dreaded question, can I put you on hold for a min? 15 min later, I realize he’s never coming back and maybe he lost me and please, he’ll call me back because he has to! Well, one hour later, 4 chocolates, nuts and a full meal later, he hasn’t called back. No one will ever call back from there.

I never participated in a governmental program. No food stamps, no unemployment, no health care. But when the program came out in March, I knew it would really help me get through a rough time. Very disappointing GMAC.

Lori

So, this is a bit personal, but I think I can work through it best by putting it out there. After all, I AM a relationship coach, a LOVE-ADVICE Coach, so that must mean I teach what I have to learn!

I am living with my boyfriend, Kevin. I hate saying boyfriend! I want to say Husband. This is a serious stressor for me. He says, why can’t you just be happy with the GREAT relationship we have? Good question, why can’t I? We LOVE being together. We miss each other when apart, we have fun, love each other’s company, our life is perfect except for I keep pushing this marriage thing.

I am madly in love with him, in fact, after about 3 years together, on and off, I still ADORE him.

Even my own mother says “what do you need to be married for? You are not having children with him…”  Here is my dilema, he is ready to purchase a new house for us, it is an investment, and a beautiful house that I love. Yet, it is his purchase, in his name, I live there. So I feel, how do I put my heart and soul into a house that is not mine? He says, I’m buying it for US. And it’s true, he would not buy it for himself. I sound like an ungrateful you know what. I’m in a quandry, I want the house for us, for our future, yet, if it’s not ours, what is it really? Do I happily go and play house, or just stay where I am? My pride is definitely in the way. EGO…oh yea, edging G-d out! Am I edging spirit out? Am I spiting myself? How many women would LOVE to be in the place where their boyfriend is buying a beautiful house, where they could live, rent free? On one hand, isn’t that incredibly generous? On the other, what does it say about our future that it is in his name alone? Am I reading too much into it?

Oh, I’m afraid putting this out in the world…what will I get back?

At the retreat this week, I made a rock that said “River” on one side and “self Love” on the other. I just took a picture of it. The purpose was to remind myself to stop pushing the river, and that the most important thing is to just keep loving myself.

Yet, I’m back to the question, needing marriage, wanting marriage, desiring marriage. I can ‘make believe’ it’s not important, but it is. So, as is my way, I want to work through this and not stuff it.

I get it is about security. Does that mean I’m not trusting the universe? Don’t I believe we are exactly where we are suppose to be? I think I’m at the precipice of a big learning curve. Ugh, I hate that. Tony Robbins says when you’re feeling confused, you are going to learn something, so get ready. At his seminars, someone would stand up and say, “I’m Confused!” and the entire audience would clap, because that meant that they were about to learn something. Please clap for me…I’m ready to change this.

OK, take a deep breath Lori, know that the net is there, the universe provides all I need, so what is being given is what I must need, right? Stop pushing the river…love myself, put one step in front of the other and BE the observer. What is there that I’m suppose to learn about myself?

Thank you for listening…

Oh, here’s my rock, ok, I’m not an artist, but it was fun to create!

Don't push the river rock

Going live now on http://tinyurl.com/strlori

Bandon women’s retreat is full, but I still have room for the Jerome, Arizona retreat on 9/11